Giving up smoking

For the last week, I have not smoked a single cigarette - the first time for twelve years that I’ve stopped smoking.
I’m going cold turkey - because... I’m a real man...?
But I do know the most important thing about giving up smoking.
Be warned, this is going to be offensive to people who are ever offended by offensive words, and extra offensive to people who are only offended by certain words.
Giving up smoking is a cunt.
Not just a cunt, but the cuntiest of cunts. If quitting smoking could be measured in cunts, and the the cuntiness of quitting smoking was a basketball, and the thought of giving up the smoking, well then... quitting smoking would still be a cunt. A big one. A huge cunt. A really fucking massive cunt. With cunts on.
For some reason, every time I get a craving, I find solace in that paragraph above.
Seven days, six hours and 14 minutes so far.
2 Comments |
Tidyman |
cold turkey,
nsfw,
quitting smoking
Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 7:06AM 
Reader Comments (2)
Good luck with the cnuty business of quitting the smokes. Nice one. And whatever anyone tells you, smoking is not rock and roll. Like Alex told me.
@Angharad Ha! That must have been just before he took smoking up again.