For the last week, I have not smoked a single cigarette - the first time for twelve years that I’ve stopped smoking.

I’m going cold turkey - partly because I’m real man, and partly because I’m not organised enough to organise myself some nicotine patches.

I know the most important thing about giving up smoking.

Be warned, this is going to be offensive to people who are ever offended by offensive words, and especially those who are only offended by certain words.

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